On Monday we had a go at making our own Haiku poems. In case you did not know, they are a Japanese form of verse that have 5 syllables in the first line, seven in the second and 5 in the third. They are often based on the seasons.
Here are some of our attempts. What do you think? Feel free to comment.
We were very pleased to see that our blog has been read in 4 continents.
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The Winter is cold
freezing like ice and snow-flakes
shivering fingers
SS
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The Summer is hot
It is too hot for ice-blocks
I hate the hot sun
CN
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Summer in Taipa
No leaves on trees in Autumn
Windy in Summer
C
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Ahipara waves
They come in to go back out
from the open seas.
CP
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1 comment:
Mr B, Aotearoa is not a continent.
I don't know much about Haiku, but I'll tell you what I think anyway.
I like the first one by SS because it is consistent in itself. You probably can't have too many different ideas in seventeen syllables.
CN's one doesn't feel quite so good to me because it is about heat and melting and to introduce the feeling of the writer as well is a bit crowded. What do you think of a last line like "the hot sun melts them" instead? I hope you don't mind the suggestion.
C's one goes from summer to autumn and back to summer again. Maybe it's good for Haiku to make you feel a bit confused. Are they supposed to be comfortable, quiet 'poems' or ones which make you think about things? I'll have to ask Mr B.
At first I wasn't sure, but I really like the last one. I feel like being washed in and out by it. The first line makes me see waves coming in, the second line turns it all around again and the third line takes me back out to sea. That's clever!
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